Infomercial

An infomercial is a magical piece of propaganda designed to put the portions of your brain that control logic and reasoning to sleep for the purposes of selling you a product.

These infomercials (which are typically broadcasted on television or on the internet) are direct-response commercials that can last for up to 30 minutes to an hour. They're popular late at night, but have grown more popular among people pretending to work between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm.

The marketing goal is simple: to convince some preternatural instinct in your brain that you didn’t know existed that it needs to purchase gold, a Jon Najarian options trading book, or even a Better Marriage Blanket from the company selling the product. (Bad news: most of the products sold are junk, and if you need a blanket to save your marriage, then you’ve got bigger problems than gold coins).

Infomercials are like magical spells that aim to make you purchase something that you don’t need, probably won’t use, and definitely will forget about in a week. The secret marketing trick is start by planting a problem directly into your earhole.

For example, are you worried that communism is going to suddenly wash across the American shores and force you into a sub-human economic system that doesn’t value money? Are you worried that this economic system will make it hard for you to find food and pay for your child’s college? Well, if you weren’t before you read this paragraph, you are now! That problem is now stuck in your brain...until we find the antidote for your newly discovered anxiety.

And, in this example, the solution, instead of leaving America for a deserted island like an intelligent person, is to buy Liberty Gold coins.

Liberty Gold…not that “fake” Hope Gold coin crap from that other brand of liars. This infomercial will tell you that Liberty Gold coins will allow you to sleep well at night knowing that you have made a sound investment in something that will be valued less than bread when the financial collapse does come.

Not interested yet? Are you kidding?

Then wait! There’s more! In an infomercial...there’s always more.

This infomercial will last 30 seconds to an hour, but the seller will tell you that if you call in the next 10 minutes, they’ll double your order. That’s double the Liberty Coins for the same price! When you hear this, and you’re afraid of a communistic red tide that has been planted in your head, you’re “double safe” from that threat.

Hint: they’ll double the order even if you call after 10 minutes. They’ve got so many coins that they don’t know what to do with them. They went into a bad business and have a crappy product. So they often use infomercials to clear inventory.