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Description:
Written in Anglo-Saxon, or Old English, sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries, Beowulf is an epic poem that reflects the early medieval warrior culture of Europe. Basically, it's a poem about warriors who battle monsters... and each other, of course.
Transcript
- 00:00
<<Loogie hocking sound, spit>>
- 00:04
I
- 00:19
suppose you're here looking for Beowulf, eh?
- 00:22
Oh, you're... you're looking for me... Unferth?
- 00:28
... so I can tell you all about Beowulf. Well, that's just great.
Full Transcript
- 00:32
Well, come on then, pull up that Ye Olde Ikea chair and have a seat.
- 00:39
Everything was hunky-dory here in the court.
- 00:42
I was beloved by my king, Hrothgar <<roth-garr>> who showered me with tons of bling -- swords,
- 00:48
armor, rings, you name it.
- 00:55
I was a real up-and-comer. Chicks dug me. Okay, so I haven't done anything to get rid
- 01:02
of Grendel, that horrifying creature who's been terrorizing Hrothgar's hall...
- 01:08
...but it is totally on my to-do list, I swear. Anyway, a couple of days ago, this Beowulf
- 01:17
goober shows up out of the blue.
- 01:20
He's one of a race of people called the Geats. Dumb name, if you ask me.
- 01:25
"Oh, honey, the "Geats" are coming over tonight." Stupid.
- 01:30
I've heard a rumor he's addicted to online shopping, too. More like eBay-owulf.
- 01:35
Anyway, he's immediately "in" with Hrothgar.
- 01:40
I guess Beowulf's dad and Hrothgar were friends or something. Used to tool around the links
- 01:45
together, who knows.
- 01:49
Nepotism will never die, right? Oh, but get this -- Beowulf is now promising
- 01:54
Hrothgar he's going to get rid of Grendel himself.
- 01:57
How cocky can you be? Hrothgar's buying it though. Someone's got
- 02:02
himself a new pet. But look -- I know this Beo-turd isn't as
- 02:11
mighty as he seems.
- 02:13
Take that swimming match with his friend Breca <<Bray-ka (roll the r)>> back in Geatland.
- 02:19
Everybody's talking about how Beowulf whooped him by swimming across the sea in full armor...
- 02:23
...but I have it on good authority that he actually LOST.
- 02:32
Not to mention that he ran up a ridiculous armor-cleaning bill.
- 02:38
And his boasts about how he's going to bring down Grendel?
- 02:41
Pfft. Whatevs. Put your money where your big, fat mouth is, Beo-dork.
- 02:46
Oh, and by the way... he claims he's going to take down Grendel... with his bare hands.
- 02:52
Seems to me this guy is a few screws short of a hardware store.
- 02:57
The ladies may be flocking to him now, but just wait.
- 03:01
In a few days, everything will be back to normal.
- 03:04
Beowulf will be lying in pieces on the hall floor, and I'll be Hrothgar's favorite again.
- 03:16
I'm not worried. Do I look worried? I'm not. Seriously.
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