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PSAT 1.18 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?
PSAT 1.13 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?
Changing the Underlined Portion #1241 173 Views
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Description:
PSAT 1.15 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?
Transcript
- 00:00
Thank you We sneak and here's your shmoop du jour
- 00:05
brought to you by the museum of modern art It's
- 00:08
the only place where someone might vandalize some of the
- 00:10
artwork and no one would notice All right check the
- 00:14
passage Sorry we that we love modern art but some
Full Transcript
- 00:17
of it just like that soup can thing i don't
- 00:19
get All right How would you change the underlying portion
- 00:22
below If it all Yes i know i'm a philistine
- 00:25
his brothers who were involved in founding museum on our
- 00:28
new york What entrench an experimental buys in the right
- 00:32
talking like a snooty new yorker there all right And
- 00:34
here potential answers It was quite lovely all right We'll
- 00:40
only once in our lives have we ever heard of
- 00:42
sentence this long without a single comma or other punctuation
- 00:46
And that was when a car salesman tried to sell
- 00:48
us the latest prius in under thirty seconds without taking
- 00:51
a breath It wasn't pretty so as much as the
- 00:53
original sentence just spits it all out and lets us
- 00:56
get on with our day We have a feeling there's
- 00:58
probably something missing here since it's rockefeller's brothers who were
- 01:01
involved in founding the museum We're probably going to need
- 01:04
to find a way to segment that bit off from
- 01:07
the rest of the sentence unless banks he came along
- 01:10
and manually remove the commas to make some sort of
- 01:13
statement right No banks Option c has decided to go
- 01:19
with parentheses A valiant effort but wrong parentheses can be
- 01:23
used to present information is an afterthought But the content
- 01:27
here is providing valuable information that describes the brothers and
- 01:31
why there might be some bias there So we need
- 01:33
to make the claws more of a focal point Go
- 01:36
back to sleep Santa will wake you if we media
- 01:38
option d also Separates the claws this time with dashes
- 01:43
another good attempt but using dashes here is probably too
- 01:45
jarring for the flow of the sentence which otherwise trucks
- 01:48
along rather smoothly Let's call this one plan b in
- 01:51
case nothing better comes along Ah yes answer Choice b
- 01:55
hits it on the nose Commas worked perfectly to separate
- 01:58
this non restrictive clause They make it clear that the
- 02:01
line is in reference to the brothers while not cluttering
- 02:05
the sentence or disrupting the tone or rhythm Plus they're
- 02:08
forty percent off this week Only it's a win win
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Check out this PSAT Writing Diagnostic question and determine whether the sentence in question is fine as is, or needs a change.
PSAT 1.16 Writing Diagnostic. How would you change the underlined portion of the passage, if at all?
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