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It's a little crowded in the doctor's [People sitting in doctors waiting room]

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office today.

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Every last one of the transition metals

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is here to see Dr. Aufbau. [Transition metals standing in doctors office]

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Yep, they're hoping to get some

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medication to help them with their acute

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cases of claustrophobia. Taking a gander

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at the periodic table, it's no wonder these [Periodic table of transition metals]

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guys are feeling a bit, uh, boxed in.

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They've got clowns to the left of them,

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jokers to the right. Well, they've got some

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fundamentally different elements on both

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sides of them anyway... But why are they

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all lumped together?

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What's with the complete disregard for

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one's personal space bubble, hmm?

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Well, the transition metals, all these [Table of transition metals]

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metals located from groups three to

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twelve, are rock-hard metals. None of that

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wussy, cut-through-it-with-a-butter-knife

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lithium business.

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Yeah, they're often combined to make

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alloys like brass, which is a mixture of [Alloy lands on table]

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copper and zinc, but we wouldn't

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recommend you using that tidbit to make

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fun of any of the other kids in the band.

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Woodwind isn't an element either. [Two kids holding musical instruments]

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All right, well these fellas often find

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their way into jewelry because they

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don't break down easily and they won't [Zinc and Gold necklace around a womans neck]

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react with water. Otherwise, running

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through a sprinkler with a neck full of

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bling could be catastrophic. Whew, just the [Girl runs through sprinkler]

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thought of that happening is terrifying.

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No wonder some of these elements are losing it upstairs.

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Well, the doctor finally calls all the [Doctor standing in her office]

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metals in her office--yep, all at once.

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It's a big office, so what do you want?

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She tries to calm them all down by

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explaining how special they are. In [Doctor waves her arm at the metals]

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particular, she gushes about their

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electrons. The transition metals are

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located in the d-block, meaning their

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outermost electrons reside in the

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d-orbitals. Because these electrons are [Electrons of a metal atom]

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so far away from their respective nuclei,

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the attraction holding them in place

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isn't very strong, which paves the way

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for high electrical and heat

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conductivity and allows the metals to be

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malleable, which may not sound like such

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a tremendous compliment to you, but trust

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us: whisper some of those sweet nothings [Transition metals in the doctors office]

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to a transition metal and it'll be putty

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in your hands... literally. The doctor

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proceeds to heap praise on the metals in

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hopes of boosting their self-confidence.

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She applauds them for their shiny and

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colorful appearances as well as their

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high melting and boiling points. Again, all [Transition metals with rainbow above their heads]

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stuff that's sure to make a metal feel extra

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good about itself. By the time the

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transition metals leave their doctor's

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office, they're feeling much better about

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their place on the periodic table... even

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if a few of the alkali earth metals are [Earth metals standing in doctors office]

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getting all up in their business.

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